Oh how quickly we become offended and go on the defense! Yes, I am so guilty of this and I know you are too. We are naturally selfish people. We apply things that happen to us and around us to our own past experiences and that can lead to dangerous assumptions and unnecessary discontent.
I recently started a 10 Day Challenge and it was comprised of mostly people I am just now getting to know. On Day 2 of the challenge I sent a private message checking in on one of the girls who I had not really heard from at all since she signed up just a week earlier. My message was kind and simple. She responded that she had not yet started. I completely understood as I know life happens and even I have had late starts to similar accountability groups based on circumstances.
The next day I messaged her again. These messages are usually short little motivational messages and a gentle reminder that I am still here to help. I noticed right away that I could not send a message to her. Upon further investigation I saw that we were no longer friends on Facebook. Oh my goodness! What did I do? What did I say? Or was it not me at all? Was she just so upset with herself for not being able to commit? I messaged our mutual friend and found out that she was also not showing on her friends list.
So what had happened? What did I say? Why did she just disappear like that?
It wasn’t me at all. Whew! As it turned out, she had a serious situation regarding someone threatening her and her family and causing physical damage to her property. She had to leave Facebook for safety sake. Obviously, sending messages on Facebook to give the scoop was not a priority. I can say for sure I would have done the same and making one final check in with my coach would have been the least of my concerns.
This is just a simple example of a pretty insignificant story in the grand scheme of things. It shows how we build up anxiety and worry within ourselves that is so unnecessary. We worry about what people think or say but the reality is that people are just as absorbed with themselves as you are with yourself (which is why we get so frantic that we have done something wrong in the first place).
Something I learned early in my business growth is that when you run your business with integrity and always have the best interest at heart for everyone around you, then no one will receive you in a negative way. Think about that for a moment. If your heart is truly in the right place when you are communicating with others then it will show and there will be no room for false accusations or misunderstandings. And from my experience, if there is some degree of animosity despite your truly genuine kindness, it really isn’t you – it is THEM and something they are dealing with. Try to have compassion on them because it’s no fun sulking in a stew of self-pity.
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You inspire me, woman. When I look through your stuff, I want to keep going even when I’ve had a bad week. It’s difficult to change a lifetime of eating habits and related mindsets that sabotage success. My father was overweight and negative. My aunt was anorexic and unhealthy. I’ve adopted habits from both. I have the feeling God is working on me in a big way and you seem to be a key component of that road to success. The details run deep. Thanks for being a strong woman, momma, wife and successful business model. It matters.
Thank you Tina! You are always so thoughtful and kind with your words. Have an awesome day!