I am a firm believer that we are what we surround ourselves with. WE are what we tell ourselves we are. We will become what we believe we will become. That which we consume will become us. So what exactly are you watching, reading and listening to? Who are your friends? Who do you let speak into your life and what kinds of things are they saying?
Our family recently had a bit of not so great news recently. I will save the details for another blog. Oddly enough, I often wonder when we are going to get the big bad news because to be quite honest, life is just amazing for our family. We are healthy, we have healthy children, we have good jobs and no debt, and we have a strong marriage and solid faith.
On a daily basis, I can find little to nothing to really complain about.
But then I see the sadness of those around me – the tragedy, the suffering, the sickness and poverty. I often wonder why I have it so good and they have it so bad.
Truthfully, I have come to realize that we don’t really have it that much better. We have suffered illness, deaths in the family, cancer of my mom that almost took her life, the passing of my father, my husband’s dangerous job, scares in birth and delivery, sadness, debt, business failures- you name it and we really have faced it.
So what makes us different? It’s perspective. What are you telling yourself?
So back to the recent news. Awe heck, I guess I will just share it. If you know me I am private in person but open to sharing on social outlets. Why is that? I think perhaps I fear less the feedback of strangers than I do those closest to me. Besides, face to face interaction can make you say some pretty dumb things on a whim don’t you think? I sure do.
I’m nearly 19 weeks pregnant with our 5th child. With the exception of one miscarriage very early in pregnancy several years ago, I have had amazing pregnancies and perfectly healthy babies. Yesterday, however, I went to an ultrasound and discovered that I have one major artery and one vein in my umbilical cord and I should have 2 arteries and one vein. This may or may not be the cause of the right arm of my little girl missing from the forearm down.
Upon finding this news out, I was just quiet and waiting for more explanation. It wasn’t until I heard the assurance that the brain, lungs, heart and all other organs looked perfectly normal and functional that I became a little emotional. Also hearing the doctor assure me that this was nothing I had done filled me with emotions.
I think we all wonder what we could have done different to make things perfect. Somethings are just out of our control.
Relief – that was the biggest sense I had. I didn’t fear what may happen or what could still develop or any mistreatment she may get growing up. That would just be dumb in my opinion. Why, with all of the good news I just received, would I worry about things that have not yet come? What filled my heart was knowing that from the very detailed ultrasound (she took forever!) my little girl was beautiful, healthy, and perfect- just as God created her to be.
I began doing some research on names. This one has to be fierce. I imagined my sweet little girl doing Insanity workouts at my side with just one arm. I am not kidding you when I say that I was flooded with all of the possibilities ahead of this little girl. She is already an overcomer and she has a lot to offer the world. So watch out.
Many I know would receive such news and immediately turn to sorrow and fear and start playing the what-ifs through their mind. We naturally want to take the unknown and create fear and anxiety. I’ll admit, I was in that place of speculation for about 3 minutes as I waited in the silence of the exam room. I knew there was an issue but I knew little of what it actually meant. So as I spent a few minutes pondering the worst, I then turned to prayer. The sense of peace that came over me was overwhelming.
Now, please don’t paint a picture of me twirling around, dancing and licking lollypops. I’m no fool. But I refuse to fear what I don’t understand or what has not yet been confirmed. You can’t live that way. When things knock you down you have to fight to see the bigger picture.
Here are 5 ways you can start to train yourself to see the blessing in your mess.
- Make a list of your blessings. Do you know that old hymn “Count Your Blessings”? It goes like this…
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
*Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
[*And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.]
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings—*money cannot buy [*wealth can never buy]
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
- Focus only on the facts, not your feelings or what may or may not happen.
- Turn to prayer. Not a person of faith? Maybe try it anyway – can’t hurt right? I’ve never met anyone who said that prayer screwed their life up… just sayin’.
- Get up and get moving. It’s okay to have a time of mourning and sadness, but you are going to have to pick yourself up and start moving in the right direction. Get outside and walk, go to the gym and run your butt off, pop in your favorite uplifting and encouraging music and let it play as you get housework done. Do what you need to do to get out of your funk. That first step is the hardest but after that it’s easier.
- Start speaking more positive things to yourself. You will become what you continually tell yourself. You were beautifully and wonderfully made and you have to start seeing that. So go ahead, start focusing on the things that you are amazing at doing- I dare you!
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